Ten years ago, a normally cheerful couple came to my office in an unusually solemn mood. After some prodding they confided that they feared their only son may one day try to take their assets while they were still living, and asked if there was anything I could do to help. The conversation was difficult for them because they came from a culture where honoring family was everything, and they felt guilty for even being in my office with the request. I assured them that I could help them accomplish their goal of providing for their retirement needs, while structuring the accounts to prevent the money from being used inappropriately by their son.
The next eight years went smoothly with this couple. They were delightful to have as clients, and as friends, and were always appreciative of our personal and business relationship. Suddenly one day, without warning, I received a letter from the husband. This seemed odd, as they had never written to me before. The letter was very impersonal and demanded that I sell all their assets and send them a check. Additionally, though the letter appeared to be signed by the husband, it contained an advanced level of English grammar that I knew could not have come from my client.
After some research, I determined that my clients had correctly judged their son. He had come into their lives in their old age and was trying to take possession of their assets. Thankfully they had the foresight to prepare in advance for a situation that otherwise would have been disastrous. After numerous deceptive attempts to get at their money, the son finally gave up.
Elder abuse is a sadly a growing problem in our society. We see it fairly regularly at varying levels. I have watched kids fight over their aging parent’s money while the parent was sitting in the same room. I have seen kids with access, dip into their parent’s accounts for their own needs, or pressure their parents in to “loaning” them money over and over again. I once fought a battle with a licensed caregiver, 40 years younger than my client, who had become her “boyfriend” and seemed to always be in need of money.
Senior financial abuse is especially challenging because seniors often desperately need the help, or crave the love, of the person who is stealing from them. And if that person is a child, few parents are willing to involve the authorities. I have learned that the best way to protect your assets and yourself in your old age is to do so long before you get there. If your situation warrants setting up a trust, then such an instrument can offer protections for both your financial assets as well as your personal healthcare. There are also others way to create barriers against those who may try to take advantage of an aging parent or friend. It sickens me that I even need to discuss this topic but sad experiences over many years have taught that the best course of action is to be prepared, just in case.
Dan Wyson, CFP® is a long running national financial columnist, author of several books and CEO/Founder of Wyson Financial/Wealth Management 375 E. Riverside Dr. St. George, UT 84790 – 435-986-9525 Securities and Advisory services offered through Commonwealth Financial Network™, member FINRA/SIPC, a registered investment advisor.